1. WHAT ARE SOME COMMON DATING MISTAKES YOU OFTEN ENCOUNTER?
I. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU WANT.
Get clear on what’s important to you in a mate. He may be gorgeous, have a great smile and charm your friends. He might even open your car door and put his coat over the puddle so your feet don’t get wet. But before you become totally smitten and swept off your feet, be sure to delve a little deeper. Take a good hard look. Make sure he has the attributes and qualities you are looking for. There are always signs. Some not as subtle as others. You crave affection. He barely holds your hand. Can you live with that? He spends extravagantly. You are frugal. Does that bother you? He’s got young children. Yours are grown and you love to travel. Will that become an issue? Does he ask you out during the week and never on a Saturday night? Does he talk incessantly about himself and never ask about you? Is he still online ‘looking’ after you’ve been dating for months? Make sure that the man you date is the man you want. Not the man you want him to be. You need to see the person for who they really are. Being really honest with yourself regarding these issues, is the key for successful dating.
II. YOU STOP DATING BECAUSE YOU’VE BEEN REJECTED ONCE OR TWICE.
Dating is not for the faint of heart. If you are sincere about finding a Mr. or Ms. Right, odds are high that you are going to be rejected somewhere along the line. It hurts. Sometimes even a lot. Getting dumped by anyone, especially someone you are starting to like, is not fun. But for criminy sakes, don’t be a pansy and shrivel up. Someone’s opinion about you is just that. An opinion. It has nothing to do with who you are or what you would like in your life. He’s out there. You just have to find him. Pick yourself up. Dust yourself off and stay in the game. Remember. It’s all part of the journey. You learn from every date, every ‘ouch’. With each step, you get closer to what it is you want. As with most things in life, if you persevere, you’ll find what you were looking for. The one you like and likes you.
III. GETTING TOO SERIOUS TOO SOON.
Love at first site! Instant attraction. This is it. Jump into bed. Move in by month’s end. Lightening speed to the altar. What’s the rush? This isn’t a race. Love either grows or fades. Give it the time to do so. Get to know each other. Even if you fall madly in love in two seconds flat, doesn’t mean you have to act on it. Be sure or as sure as you can. The only way to do so is give it time. You can’t rush getting to know someone. Enjoy the process. Life and love are not just about getting to the next trapeze step. It’s all in the swing.
IV. DATING LIKE IT’S A JOB INTERVIEW.
You’re looking for a friend, a partner, a connection. Like they say in army recruiting….it’s not a job, it’s an adventure. So is dating. There’s plenty of time to know if it’s a good match. You don’t have to grill him/her on the first several dates. Make it fun. Laugh. Smile. Enjoy. Even if it’s not the love of your life, chances are, it’s a nice person you are having dinner with, or coffee, or the movies. They are trying or they wouldn’t be there. So should you. If it’s a real creep, politely exit early.