Has the desire dwindled? An astounding amount of women between the ages of 30 and 70 — 36% — report they’ve experienced “low sexual desire.” Whether you’re in a long-term relationship or single and mingling, losing your spark can be devastating to every aspect of your love life. While some believe it’s a natural part of aging, leading holistic sex and relationship coach Kim Anami explains that’s simply not the case. 

“The Anami Guarantee is that every woman can be having a high libido, a salacious sex drive, multiple vaginal G-spots, cervical, ejaculating orgasms,” she explains.

“Every woman indeed can shoot pingpong balls from her vagina. Every man can learn how to have sex for eight hours at a time and separate orgasm from ejaculation,” Kim Anami continues. “All of these things are possible for every person. It’s a matter of digging in and doing that work to remove these blockages and come back to our natural state, which is as sensual, beautiful, radiant beings. We all have that capacity; I guarantee it.”

The Madonna Archetype Problem

The cultural message surrounding women’s sexuality contributes to the low-libido myth. As Kim Anami explains, the way we perceive the female sex drive is often black and white.

“There is that messaging that women almost need to be coerced to have sex,” explains Kim Anami. “One of the biggest archetypes that exist is the Madonna-Whore concept. Women are either sluts or they’re virgins, and there doesn’t really exist a happy medium, where women can be healthy, voracious, empowered, sexual beings.

“This is the middle ground that I teach,” she continues. “The core of my work is that yes, you can be a woman who loves sex and is very sensual, but it doesn’t mean that you have to take on this other programming of the whore archetype or the good-girl archetype, where the woman has to be talked into or  manipulated into having sex.”

Women searching for a way to improve their sex lives may first need to unlearn the damaging messaging society’s fed them. This process may not be easy; however, there’s true power in taking the time to unweave that harmful narrative.

“A big part of the work that I do in my online courses — I call them salons — is looking at these blockages,” says Kim Anami. “For example, do men want or need sex more than women? Is that true? Do I believe that or is that just an idea that I’ve taken on that’s been permeated throughout the culture?”

The Power of Radical Honesty

Of course, it’s not simply the cultural messaging that could be culpable here. Kim Anami explains there are many blockages we experience when it comes to our sex lives. Everything from your history to the experiences you’ve had may play a role.

“If people have any kind of sexual trauma that’s never been addressed therapeutically and have not healed that — all of these things show up in the body,” she explains. “A woman might think that she has low libido when really she just doesn’t want to have sex with her partner because there are years of unresolved issues and unspoken conversations that have built up a wall between them.”

In these cases, Kim Anami suggests using ‘”radical honesty” with your partner. There are likely things that you’ve swept under the carpet in your relationship and these soon build up. To remove the blockages, you need to communicate openly and  address each issue one-by-one and solve it.

The Takeaway

Sexual desire is not merely physical. When you’re experiencing problems with your libido, it’s worth digging deeper to figure out what the underlying issue is. As Kim Anami explains, chances are there’s more to your waning desire than first meets the eye. The sooner you address the problem, the sooner you can resolve it, boost your libido, and enjoy “salacious sex.”